I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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