theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
