I cannot find my penis.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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