She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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