Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
