I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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