Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
