My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
