You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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