and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize