For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
