SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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