Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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