dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
