Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
two words...techno handjob
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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