I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
