you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
