I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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