if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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