Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Randomize
