she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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