He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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