I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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