its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
