The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize