I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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