WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
