The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Holy shit dude........stairs
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
