Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
