She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
