I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
