If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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