She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
