im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize