Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
