I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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