You really coming over, don't trick.
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
