He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hello my rib-scented angel!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
