this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
well I can't set my house on fire every night
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
