Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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