she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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