so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
