She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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