garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
