Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
