Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
