you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
