Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
