your parents love me but you hate me
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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