There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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