So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
