I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
