do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
