Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
