The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
