Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize